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Why You Should Always Speak From the Heart

by Sueños on 12/13/16



I had a meeting with a client yesterday, and her relationship problem was emblematic of too many college relationships. She had just started dating a guy who seemed incredibly interested in her, however, she was possibly moving for grad school and wasn't interested in pursuing anything serious. I asked her if she had told him that, she said no, and further she didn't like how much he texted her, which she also hadn't told him. So, I want to tell you all what I told her -- Speak. Your. Mind. Because there's either two things that will happen 1) he'll be totally cool with that and your relationship, even if it's casual, will be something you enjoy having. 2) He gets his feelings hurt and doesn't want to talk to you, but at least now you've set him free, so he can go find a relationship he's fulfilled in.


The worst thing anyone can do in a relationship, especially romantic, is lead someone to believe that it could possibly turn into something more than it is, as all it will do is cause them to hurt more. If you're having a hard time telling the person exactly how you feel, I'm sure the last thing you want to do is hurt them. Moreover, I'm sure dealing with the feelings you have now is incredibly stressful for you, because every time you talk to that person you feel like you're putting on a mask and pretending to be a different person.

I hope you see that speaking from the heart doesn't just apply to romantic relationships, but all of your interpersonal relationships. Because when we do this people either come to accept us for who we really are, or are no longer interested in maintaining a relationship with us. Either way, you win, because now you know who loves and accepts you for who you are.

Now, I'm not saying be brutally honest, because arguments can be avoided simply by how you phrase things. Instead of accusing ( You never support anything I do) speak from how you actually feel (I feel like you aren't supporting me, and it really hurts when I feel like you don't have my back). What makes the difference between the two of those, is that in the second sentence you're being 100% honest about how you feel, while in the first sentence you're putting up a front. You're still wearing your mask. You aren't speaking from your heart.

This has been a guest blog by one of our coaches Diego Andreas. If you like what you read, then please, check out his blog at www.wonderingintomyself.com

The New Thought Leader- It is time to facilitate not dictate

by Sueños on 08/14/13

ball of energyWhen I started my corporate career fresh out of college, leadership was about command and control.  Many times it was an environment which was led out of fear. It was about controlling all aspect of processes and people.  Many of the leaders who were able to generate the greatest amount of fear among the rank and file were promoted up the ladder on a fast track.  We saw the ability to generate fear as a favorable core competency of leadership! As we have transitioned from an autocratic to a thought worker environment, we have discovered that fear in a professional setting is to creative thought and innovation like cancer is to good health.  We need to realize our roles as leaders have shifted from one of dictating and measuring to one of facilitating and monitoring the energy of the team.  Your primary role today as a leader is to be the Keeper of The Organizational Energy.  Yes,  I did say Organizational Energy and if that is a little to new age for you, get use to it.   You will be hearing it more often.   It is a sacred role, The Keeper of the Energy (kind of roles of your tongue doesn’t it).  It is vital to short and long term success.  Your ability to sustain the oscillation of your professional environment between high and low positive and to limit the amount and duration of dips into the negative high and low energy will have a direct correlation to the fiscal success of your company!

Juan-Manuel Sanchez

3 Simple Steps To Be An Effective Thought Leader

by Sueños on 08/12/13

ThinkerWe are a long way from Henry Ford’s  infamous quote of “ I am interested in employing only their arms and legs not their minds”.   In today’s business world of global capital, logistics, and universal quality measures the competitive advantage has been redefined.  The only true advantage a business leader has in todays business landscape is the innovative capacity of their talent teams.  We have entered a new realm where Henry Ford’s quote is as absolute as the Model T.  We have entered the realm of the thought worker.  It is an era which will be determined by the collective mind power of your team.  Their ability to innovate, to create new products or business models which are non existence will determine your competitive edge. They are one synapsis away from the innovation which will put your company or keep your company on the cutting edge of your industry.  Your only true advantage is the creative brain power your team can harness.   Have you created the professional environment which will allow innovation to blossom?  Creativity/Innovation lives in the low positive energy environment.  This is a professional environment were your team feels safe, appreciated, and rewarded.   Here three simple steps we can do as thought leaders to develop a innovative/creative professional environment:

1.  Share Information

2.  Share Compliments

3.  Share Credit

 

 

Juan-Manuel Sanchez

Why Trust vs Task is The Key To Reaching Your Next Level

by Sueños on 04/17/13


Early in our careers we get rewarded for completing task either through compensation or promotions or both.  This develops a task and reward cycle.  We focus on getting better and better at completing task and we get more bonuses and promotions.  We read books and buy tools on time management.  So we can get even more task done.  Then one day regardless of weather we work late, weekends, birthdays, vacations, and holidays we no longer get the reward/recognition, bonuses, promotions which use to always follow completing task. They all stop no matter how hard and how long we work. We see others get promoted, get the bonuses, and pass us on the career track.  We feel under appreciated and taken advantage of.  What happen???  It was all going so well.  We say to ourselves, I know what  it is I do not brown nose or suck up to the boss like others do. You find a bit of comfort in that while you are not getting the promotions at least you have not compromised your values and you are not a phony.   What we do not understand nor does anyone take the time to explain is that once you get to  a senior mid level management position the rules change and to enter the officer ranks the priority is no longer on task but on trust.  While assuring task are complete it is expected not rewarded it is no longer the prism through which you and your talents are viewed.   Now the risk are higher both personal and organizational.  If I am going to promote you to VP and give you responsibility for a bigger piece of the P&L I have to trust you.  The organization has to trust you. Suddenly how well known you are in the organization and the collective opinion becomes critical.  How much 1 x 1 face time you have spent with your boss is important. How much time you have spent with his/her boss is important,  how many cross-functional teams you participate in becomes important, which employee networks you participate in, what visibility you have in your field,  who you are mentoring or who you sought out to be mentor by is important.  There are many activities which promote and foster trust.  These are but a few.  The thing to remember is to reach te next level it is about trust!!!!! It is this simple, if you are in stuck in a senior position take a sheet of paper and write out your daily routine.  Get very detailed do you e-mails as soon as you arrive, return calls, go to meetings?  Next to each activity write task or trust.  If the majority are task chances are you are not going anywhere, if they are trust it is just a matter of time.

Juan-Manuel Sanche